10 Questions To Consider If You Want To Fall in Love on Vacation
Is it just me, or does there seem to be endless stories of people finding love while on vacation? The story always features exceptionally attractive people who seem to survive off of good looks, a bit of luck and their art. These seemingly poor yet well off nomads just have the best lives money can't buy. Somehow, they are living almost everyone's travel dreams and to top it, they find the love of their life randomly in a jungle somewhere. You can't help but be swept up in the romance of it all. But after receiving another unsolicited dick pic from a tinder troll you can't help but think “get the fuck out of here with that bullshit."
But it is actually possible, it actually happened to me. But you have to be ready and willing to step outside of your comfort zone and into the unknown. After living the life, there are a few questions to consider before running off into the sunset.
1. Do I have a mate checklist?
Throw that shit out. You won't have time to check off boxes on your way to bliss. If you are going to run off into the sunset within a few days or hours of meeting someone your list will slow you down. This is a decision made with the heart not one of logic.
2. Do I trust myself?
Trust is hard to come by, even in our own decisions. It often requires time and lots of vetting to be acquired. And even then, we've made enough mistakes to question our ability to make the best choice. You have to not only feel that you can trust this new love, but you also have to trust yourself. There is no time to second-guess yourself, you will have to believe and say, “fuck it, I’m all in. “
3. Am I scared shit-less?
Fear can stop you in your tracks. Not to mention, drinking from the dating pool has generally left a shit taste in our mouths. That fear of being hurt, embarrassed, or simply left feeling foolish often stops us in our tracks. We ain’t got time for someone’s bullshit. We have become accustomed to assuring that we aren’t left in a fucked up situation. But there is no time for that if you have to decide to stay or go in a matter of moments.
4. Can I deal with the judgment?
You may have fallen in love while on holiday, but if you are taking this love home, get ready! Your friends and family are gonna give you hella side-eye when you bring home some stranger you seemingly found on the side of the road in a foreign land. You don’t have to defend your choices but be ready for harsh commentary that you may not want to hear. They will be looking to pull your new love’s wig off like they just stepped out of a Tyler Perry movie.
5. Am I ready to compromise?
You think you know what love is until you have to actually do it. Throwing out your checklist is just the beginning. We know every relationship takes compromise. But you just put this love on warp speed. You are 2 strangers doing everything all at once. You have to get to know each other's basics while developing love. You may not know how to spell their last name yet but you have to make the best choices for you both.
6. Do I really want to change my life?
Often we are all about something until it actually happens. We want a relationship and we believe we are ready. Then when that love comes knocking we want to pump the brakes. And this isn’t because we don’t want it, we just start to see all that would have to be different and become unsure.
7. Can I allow love to evolve?
Love, at first sight, is a thing for some, but even if it is, its unlikely it’s all-encompassing at that moment. You may have a ton of feelings when you meet someone on holiday, you are freer than normal and willing to let the good vibes flow. A strong connection doesn’t always mean “love’ you have to be willing to let it develop and invest in its growth and evolution while giving it openly.
8. Is it really real?
The truth is, who the fuck knows? This is the ultimate walking blind test. You will be forced to figure it out as it goes. If it works great and if it doesn’t be ready to look back and have a lovely memory of freedom and love. That could be enough.
9. What do I have to lose?
There are a ton of reasons not to do something. But if you want to live a different life it is just a matter of walking in a different direction. The first step may be difficult. Nevertheless, it could be worth it to take a blind step and see where you end up.
10. Can I lay it all out there?
This is important, you have to put your shit on blast. All the shit you wait to say needs to just come out. Neither of you can hold back. If you want to stick a finger where the sun doesn't shine there is no easing into it, you got to go elbow deep and hope for the best!
When I met my partner 3 years ago I was in the process of leaving a failing relationship. There had been hurt and uncertainty in my past. I wasn't searching or in the market to meet someone new. Then my first day on a solo vacation I happened upon someone unexpected. Within 2 weeks of our meeting, I ended up changing partners, countries and my life. There have been shocks from cultural differences to just figuring out one another. The commitment to making this work comes from both of us. There are no rules to how you find love, but you will have to break away from what you think you know if you want to try your hand at love in the fast lane.